Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. Welcome to Sexual Resolution , a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin to answer your most confidential questions and help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. In this edition, she answers a reader who wants to have anal sex but whose partner has a big penis. She's nervous about the potential for pain, but Vanessa has some helpful tips. Have your own question? Ask it here. DEAR VANESSA: I'm planning to have my first anal intercourse with a friend I've known for a couple of years.
I have a white film on my penis. My live-in boyfriend has NSU. My recurrent sore penis.
Anal sex can be insanely pleasurable, but it does require some work to minimize the discomfort and help you relax. The rectum isn't nearly as flexible as the vagina is, so it can Estimated Reading Time: 5 mins 2 days ago Anal sex may hurt the first time (and every time) if you don't use lube. The skin on your anus and rectum is delicate, and it doesn't make its own lubrication the way vaginas do. So using lube reduces friction, which helps prevent pain and tearing We had safe anal sex (I was the passive member), but he was very rough. Since then I have had a very painful, itchy rectum and suffered quite Estimated Reading Time: 1 min
Recurring thrush is destroying my love-life. Should we both have tests for STDs?
#9 Why do people have anal sex? Doesn't it just hurt?
What are the risks of oral sex? What is condyloma? When could I have caught gonorrhoea?
Will my new guy give me an STD? Last ated Parenting Mental health Healthy eating Conditions Follow. Type keyword s to search.
Enjoying pain as the result of pinching/twisting/hair pulling/flogging/restraint (that is part of sex but not from anal penetration) Enjoying rough sex (with pain as the side effect) ("Fast, deep 'pounding' can feel good from time to time.") Enjoying the feeling that you're being pushed to your body's limits ("I like to be pushed Estimated Reading Time: 5 mins
Question I'm a man. Any advice on what I could do or take for it? I'm desperate.
Thanks for your time and discretion. Answer Well, if by 'safe' you mean your friend used a condomthe odds are you haven't caught anything. They'll be perfectly happy to see and advise you.
Dangers of receiving oral sex Has my husband brought home an STD? I am absolutely petrified that I will catch something awful I had sex with a prostitute in Amsterdam I had unaox-cap.comotected sex with a Greek girl on a stag weekend I have a blister on the lip of my vagina I have a white film on my penis My live-in boyfriend has NSU My recurrent sore penis Recurring thrush is destroying my love-life Should we both have tests for STDs?
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More From Sexual health. Some couples simply stick to using sex toys and find this just as pleasurable.
Lots of kissing and caressing is likely to help too because it will help to ease any anxiety and boost arousal. This is because the anal sphincter is likely to clamp shut at the first sign of pain or anxiety.
The anal entrance is very sensitive and so starting with gentle touch or stroking there and all over the buttocks can really help set the scene before attempting penetration. Getting into the right position can help too.
Spooning or lying side by side can be helpful because it allows for continued stimulation of the clitoris, nipples or penis, which can enhance pleasure and help maintain arousal. Anal sex is safer and often more pleasurable and fun when you take care to follow some basic guidelines.
Spread it all over the penis around the anus and as far up inside as you can. This will make penetration and stimulation much easier, and also help to avoid any damage to the anus which can be prone to cuts and tears if a partner gets careless.
A water based lubricant which you can buy from pharmacies is best because oil based lubricants can cause latex condoms to break. I'd also always recommend using one to protect against STIs and to help avoid getting harmful bacteria where it can cause damage.
certain health issues, such as hemorrhoids, making it painful; However, anal sex does not have to hurt, and severe pain may indicate that a person is doing something potentially naox-cap.comted Reading Time: 6 mins Does anal sex hurt? Yes. It does. To start with anyway. The first time usually hurts like hell. That's kind of just how it naox-cap.comted Reading Time: 5 mins A study by researchers at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine found that some young people normalised "coercive, painful and unsafe anal sex".Estimated Reading Time: 10 mins
Hygiene is important when it comes to anal, so wash thoroughly before any activity and wash the sex toys afterwards too. You may have seen people in porn put any sex toy, or their partner's penis, into the mouth or vagina after it has been in the anus, but this can spread harmful bacteria.
Using latex gloves for penetration with fingers and dental damns for mouth to anus contact may not sound the sexiest thing in the world but they can certainly help to limit any potential health hazards.
And if there are any existing anal problems, such as itching or soreness, piles or constipation, these must be dealt with before you give anal a try. Lots of couples find anal sex really enjoyable, but like most sex experimentation the key is to find out what works for you.
Whatever happens, feeling safe and comfortable is likely to enhance the experience for both of you.
Anal sex doesn't have to hurt - and shouldn't if you're doing it properly. A little prep work and some patience could mean the difference between pleasure and pain when it comes to Author: Adrienne Santos-Longhurst If the muscles in the anus aren't relaxed and there isn't enough lubrication, it's likely that anal sex will hurt. It's important to relax, go slowly, stop if anything hurts, and let your partner know how you feel - sex that's painful or uncomfortable shouldn't continue. Not everyone likes anal naox-cap.comted Reading Time: 1 min Is anal sex painful? For many people anal sex is a pleasurable part of their sex life. However, whether you are a man or a woman, penetrative anal sex can be uncomfortable or even painful if rushed, especially if it's your first time. Luckily, there are things you can do to reduce any pain
Ammanda Major is a Relate Sex Therapist and senior consultant on Sex Therapy. Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies.
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