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Sex should be fun, but it can also be complicated. Welcome to Sexual Resolution , a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin to answer your most confidential questions and help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. In this edition, she answers a reader who wants to have anal sex but whose partner has a big penis. She's nervous about the potential for pain, but Vanessa has some helpful tips. Have your own question? Ask it here. DEAR VANESSA: I'm planning to have my first anal intercourse with a friend I've known for a couple of years.

First, I recommend you get more familiar with your own anus and rectum.

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The anus refers to the outside part and the rectum is the inside. Try playing with your ass as you masturbate.

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You can use a lubed-up finger or a slim, lubed-up dildo. Your anal sphincters are surprisingly strong and can actually pull sex toys up into the rectum.

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This will also help you stay more relaxed when you experiment with your partner. Next, I recommend that you and your friend have a few sessions where you focus on anal play instead of anal sex.

Practice communicating, giving him feedback about speed, depth, pressure, etc. You want to be as relaxed and turned-on as possible.

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If you can have an orgasm before anal sex, that can help your entire body relax. Also, make sure to play with fingers or toys in that session, before you involve his penis. Seriously, a ton.

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Lube up his penis, and you can add some lube to your anus, too. My holy grail lube is Pjur Original. You can even find lubes that are specially formulated for anal play, like Pjur Backdoor.

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These lubes tend to be thicker and more durable. Have him press his penis against your anus, and hold it there while you breathe slowly and deeply.

I recommend you be in control of the insertion, so you can control the exact speed and depth. This works well for doggy-style and with you on top. Try pushing your body against his so that his penis goes in about an inch.

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Pause there, and keep focused on breathing and staying relaxed. If that feels OK, try another inch. Work your way down the length of his penis as far as you feel comfortable.

  Whether you need to know which lube to use, how to prepare your anus, and whether or not to expect poop, here are nine tips that everyone should know before trying anal sex for the first time   The ins and outs of anal sex, including the best tips, positions, and toys recommended by a sex expert. No matter what your anal experience, you'll find something naox-cap.comted Reading Time: 6 mins   3 Tips to Fabulous Sexual Penetration and Thrusting. 1. All the Right Angles. Well, by right, I don't mean 90 degrees. I mean there is more than one angle when it comes to intercourse, and the most phenomenal lovemaking incorporates at least a few, that's for sure! The angle at which the penis is going in and out of the vagina naox-cap.comted Reading Time: 6 mins

Secondly, you should make sure you're comfortable talking openly and honestly with your partner, since communication is the most important thing when having anal sex, says University of Connecticut health department ob-gyn Shon Cooper, MD. There's a lot of prep work that goes into making sure you have an enjoyable anal experience, and we have all the tips and tricks below for achieving just that.

Warming lube can help heighten pleasure and make you even more comfortable in the moment.

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Consider trying a warming toy that heats up to just above your body temperature. There's a good chance you'll probably feel like you have to go to the bathroom anyway.

  Anal sex has always been a welcome precursor to vaginal penetration and other below-the-belt play. The most intense orgasms I've had - ever -   Tip #2: Avoid pain by trying anal play before anal sex. Next, I recommend that you and your friend have a few sessions where you focus on anal play instead of anal naox-cap.comted Reading Time: 5 mins   For one reason or another, anal penetration is frequently a final sexual frontier - and there can be a whole lot of buildup (and nerves) that comes along with it.

After anal sex, you have now, officially, opened yourself up to the joy of butt queefs. Unlike frontal queefs, they might go on for a few hours as the air escapes.

  But there's so much more to know about anal play, and so here, several sexperts break down their best anal foreplay tips for both first-timers and experienced butt travelers. Happy butt stuff! 1   There are anal dildos that can be used for penetration much like a penis, sure, but your options don't end there. There are also plugs, which are smaller and designed to be left in place   An anal orgasm is exactly what it sounds like - orgasm that's achieved through anal stimulation. We're talking touching, licking, fingering, penetration, and more. If it feels good, anything

On the bright side, you are a human beatbox, and your partner can lay a sick freestyle over the top if they feel so inclined. Especially those of you who are cis women.

Kind of. Apparently, the menstrual cup is thought to stimulate the internal walls of the vagina, which can be a v nice addition to the already erotic sensation of anal sex.

not what you should be aiming for in any way. Sabat suggests massaging your lower back, caressing your inner thighs, and then slowly working your way up to massage the entrance of your anus. and pleasurable anal sex. Don't be embarrassed! It might also be a good time to reflect on your technique to see if anything you tried could be the cause of your discomfort, like not enough lube or not taking enough time to relax and get into the moment.

Sabat suggests thinking of a fantasy, reading or listening to an erotic story, touching yourself, or any other self-love activities that can make you feel excited and comfortable to explore. You can light candles, play music, or engage in other sensual activities that make you feel more comfy and turned on. While the prostate and P-Spot is widely associated as being known for the reason why butt stuff feels so good for prostate and penis-having folks, there are plenty of valid reasons why anal could still be pleasurable for non-prostate having women as well.

  30+ things you should know before you try anal sex for sure you have an enjoyable anal experience, and we have all the tips and tricks body is tightening up to the penetration or

Remember, a pleasurable experience can be just as much mental as physical! If you're turned on by taboos and the power play experience anal can entail, that's valid too! Any bacteria found in your stool can increase your risk at acquiring infections like UTIs, bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, and more.

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Gerena says that dental dams are a good source of protection when you or your partner engage in rimming. Fecal bacteria is no joke and dental dams are absolutely worth the peace of mind.

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Going from having nothing up your ass ever to suddenly a whole penis can be jarring in many ways. The rumors are true: Anal does have the possibility of getting messy.

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If you want extra peace of mind, make sure the surface you and your partner engage on is comfortable and washable.

Sure, the idea of a numbing cream that protects you from feeling any potential pain during anal is nice, but the risk for injury down the line is not worth it. Take any pressure to perform off yourself by trying penetrative anal sex alone first.

Get a toy and a condom for easier cleanup and go at your own pace. Either way is a hundred percent fine, and if they keep pressuring you when you have made it clear that it is not on the table, they're not someone you should be sleeping with.

Before embarking on the full monte of penetrative anal sex, you can-and should!

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This is open to interpretation and could mean anything from toys to fingers or mouths. Or not!

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No rules here, except to use lube, have consent, and USE LUBE. Injuries from anal sex are possible but super rare. Pain most commonly comes from anal fissures, or little tears in the tissue around the anus, which is very thin and delicate.

A good way to remedy that is using lots of lube and smarting with smaller objects, rather than big ones. Partha Nandi, MD, a gastroenterologist and health editor with WXYZ-TV in Detroit, tells Cosmopolitan.

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com the most common reason for bleeding after anal sex is anal tears -small tears or fissures in the delicate anal canal tissue. But, like snowflakes, no two anal tears are the same, so yours may bleed a bit.

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